Happenings, if you Please

Happiness is a state of mind. You are happy one moment and not quite so another. No revelations. No apologies if disappointed. What were you expecting, a sermon? In a philosophical, theosophical sense of it, nothing is permanent. Yes, granted. But what about that little permanency in life? Those few things you expect to last a long time. Long enough to call a life time? There are things which make you smile. There are things which make your heart do a little flip inside. Then there are things which make you smile from the bottommost depths of your heart. All the time you have this nagging at the back of your head. How long is this for? Is it mine for sure? It’s not a question of deserving, I’m talking about. That’s far too over shot from what I mean. It’s a question of whether you can call this cheer and joy yours. Are they yours for ever and for always? Are they here for your personal universally miniscule eternity? Is it all yours? Has it really happened? Or, hasn’t it? Is it an illusion?
What is it that makes you smile this way? Even if it’s an invisible smile, even if it’s within and not outside for the whole world to see. Will this happiness last? Can even time ever answer this? Will you keep biding and existing in a state of hope or non hope and just watch the proceedings? Forget participation, but do your ‘emotions’ on it influence it in any possible way? If they really, actually do, I have no plans of jinxing this unprecedented bout of favourable wind coming my way, if that is what is happening now.

By Far, Not the First of Its Kind, This Being, This..

Here’s something I should’ve done a long time ago. Goodbye, adieu, farewell, whichever you might prefer. I am sick and bored. I am not jaded. But yes, I am too blank and empty to go on continuing like this. Can you see and make out when a person is on the verge of it? Can you? If yes, then you might recognize my countenance. Can you be transported to another place in another time by just willing it? Would wanting out and making arrangements for it enable you to fulfill that? I am sure there must be SOMEONE who would’ve wanted to conduct these kinds of experiments in a life time. But I must suppose with equal surety that it is absolutely impossible to record the findings and leave behind a trail, without perhaps, terrorizing people, if we are considering that possibility. But since I do not wish to venture beyond the realms I can reason, we are not going to consider that possibility. When you’ve covered all those stages of wondering if you were so unwanted, you're not left with all that much to wonder about, in that respect. You're past ruminating on that and you want to move onto another level of wondering. And that would be? I’m still in search of an answer. There is so much to be done. Can being a workaholic solve things? Does anything ever solve anything else? Or does it offer a temporary deviation? I suppose I’d have to make do with a deviation for now, the now being, a life time of time; A life with a lot of time. A lot of time wasted in the illusion of life. From where I stand, of what I can see, or what I presume I perceive, personal life, if I may be permitted the romanticism, seems void. Really, how wrong is it, to suppose you can be naïve and imagine and perceive and believe in that mirage and actually get away with that? ‘Cos that is what it ultimately is, isn’t it? How big a price MUST you pay for choosing to go with the illusions life throws your way? Offence is the best form of defense. Look before you leap. Trust not, whatever comes your way. All that glitters is not gold. How many things would we have heard in one stupid life time? What is the point? All these so called proverbs, which are supposed to have concocted the epithets of life, the guidelines and rules for a so called meaningful existence, all of these, they just drop away. They fade into oblivion after a point. And then.. and then what? What are you left with? You're facing your naked true self in the mirror and everywhere you look you see just that. There isn’t much to see, by the way. Granted, there isn’t much to see. Then why do you still keeping coming face to face with this self of yours. All for what? Why are you here? Where are you headed? Why are these questions forever unanswered for good? Why do you have to keep coming back here?