I am Home.

Sounds like the serene opening or closing line of a movie that talks of great struggle and peace and calm in the end, doesn't it? Lol.. Well, in my case there's no such luck of a happy climax scene.. yet! It's a brief sojourn I'm talking about. Mom came over to spend some time with granny and me, with mom. Life feels so normal and nice and livable again. It seems much less like a struggle it's made out to be back in the hostel. I sleep, quite well. I eat, healthy stuff. I am back to normal, in ways. These two days that I've gone to college from home, have given me a nice new perspective to think about - Life of the day scholars. My conclusion with reference to academics remains unchanged though. Hostlers have all the time and no resources. Day scholars have all the resources and no time. What a life! I've gotten so used to the day scholar way of life in these 2-3 days that I'm not so happy at the prospect of going back to the struggle there. Obvious, i guess. Fact is, the environment there is so.. unmotivating. Not just the hostel, but the college as such. I suppose the management is doing all in its power to make life better for everyone. But, I guess I'm just in a different league. The same old feeling of not fitting in. I seriously wonder sometimes. I haven't felt like I fit in anywhere till now. Where the hell am I ever going to fit in at this rate? Honestly speaking, formal mode of education was never my thing. I've been brought this far. I don't have a choice but to finish what has been initiated by the people in my life. And then..? And then.. I don't know. Let my destiny decide. Or maybe.. my whims? Hmm..