Reminescences..

I met two of my best friends from my under grad today. I met them for just a couple odd hours I suppose. The feeling was amazing. I wanted to jump up and down several times when I was with them b'cos I was with them. I didn't know friends could make me feel this great. And now that I'm back to the confines of my abode and net enabled, I feel their absence. I miss them. Already. Been listening to Kahi toh from Jane tu ya jane na for a while now. My awareness of my pathetic tolerance of that pathetic place has just been amplified by my rendezvous with the people who've made life seem like a nice thing. I'll have to go back to that place, those people. That life, again tomorrow. Time is seriously not helping in this regard. Each time I'm home and have to go back again, it's the same sense of not wanting to go. I'd actually rather not go to college itself, honestly speaking. Who needs an mba anyways. How I wish this reiterative soliloquy had some weight. How I wish it mattered and helped shape up decisions and courses of movement. My one friend is already earning and the other will be, soon. I would too. Some time after 2years. It's not entirely that. I believe hostel existence has granted me that kind of freedom. I have access to as much as I can want. But. The fact is.. I'm still supposed to be grappling with what I'd like to call life facts and common sense. It's being attempted to be taught amidst the four walls of a very closed, very sophisticated looking prison. I want out. I want out of all of this. I keep saying it again and again, over and over.. for all my life. But who is ever listening. Not those angels up above, at least. And what has happened to that woebegone unfortunate feeling we call love, all this while? What about it? It's just there, blissfully oblivious to my existence.. showering generosity in places just around and about me. Fate has a sarcastic sense of humour. So why not me too, eh? And then there's this mortal relief for all sorts of challenges life can ever pose - shopping. Which, Gods be praised, does not work for me. I mean, how off COULD I be? I don't really relish shopping. Sorry all you pig headed marketers and manufacturers out there, if you think you've made life a paradise for the fools beneath you, you're sadly mistaken. You can't get to me. In fact, you've never gotten to me. Another abnormality for belonging to the feminine race, I don't really relish shopping. I never seem to find what I want or need. And I'm forever lost. If I find it, I find it immediately. Else, I never do. Stop. Okay, now I'm beginning to wonder.. How much can an average human soul actually complain in a single day? I seem to be bashing all possibly existing records black and blue.. Christ! I belong to the books and records. I deserve to be amongst a lot of music and books worth reading. I don't deserve this mortal struggle for existence crap. What am I going to do even after, lets say, I pass out with a proud mba degree? Go fight for my place in the corporate jungle? Yea right! This is the person you'd expect to go and live for profit maximisation. I'm the last person for that kinda motives in life. And philanthropy isn't exactly what they'd be looking for a corporate aspirant. I still would do all these crazy mad things that are soo not me b'cos... Bcos I don't know why I'm doing them. I really don't. Since when has that mattered anyway.