An Uneventful Life's Uneventful Journal

Apt title. That's how amazing life feels rite now. I got home yesterday evening and will be on my way back tomorrow evening. And the one thing that was going on in mind when I went to bed yesterday was 'I dont want to go back ... I dont want to go back ... I DONT want to go back'. I never realised how imbalanced my whole life was going. I am forever fantasizing fun. And it forever seems to elude me. So what do we do about it? Go around and actually plan for some fun and have it? Nah! Who you kidding. We sit and write about it. Like we've always done in life. Like we've come doing, all these good number of years. I have been substituting food, chocolates and ice creams for fun and happiness and entertainment in my life?! I have been doing that all my life? And I have been incapable of realising that earlier and balancing the happiness and fun part of it before? Amazing revelation. Awesome step higher unto self discovery. So what now? What does that translate to now? Nothingness. As always. For one, there is this wonderfully laudable fate of mine which very carefully, with the utmost precision, surgically removes all elemental traces of genuine fun from my life. And for another, my unfortunate self takes care of whatevers left by chance. How absolutely splendid. I seem possessed by a sudden sense of duty binding when it comes to some chance or scope of fun in life. And then sit to laurel my fate. Sorry boss. My bad. So does that confirm I'm a manic depressive soul who's worth nothing else? Am I a decided loner? Am I doomed to spend this unfortunately wonderfully long life time alone? Am I doomed to a life of no fun? What was last year then, a blip in a dark cloud ridden sky? Whatever for? To ensure I know how sad sadness is and to fully understand the gravity of it? Someone please hang me before I get any more depressive than this. More depressive than this? Are you kidding me? Not likely! Or... Lol. Never mind. This is not done!!! It's been some 200 billion years since I've been to a movie. My last was Iron Man. And it's been even longer since I've lived and laughed for fun's sake. Where am I headed? I'm a sloppy silly 20 and fighting for my place with 25-28 year olds in a so called corporate jungle?!! Mummy!!! Yes! Mummy!! Grrr. This is all your doing. Sigh. What difference is it going to make now. How will it change the unfortunate glaring facts which never seem to leave me alone for some peace of mind. I was born for the world of dreams. For passions. For screams! For drama and action and panoramic attractions! I was born of the wind. To flow with the winds. To fly with the clouds. To sing with the springs. I was born to appreciate nature. To note and empathise with and create awareness of.. the subtleties of life. I am here to show what a wonderful thing life is.. What a joy living is.. Could be. Jeeze.. Cut it out. Back to reality. Ever wondered what created such frustrated souls like eminem .. or such abusive gangsters like 50 cent? You might be looking at one in the making.. Who am I kidding.. I aint a fighter homie.. Peace! .. Lol..