And..?

I wish I could scream and announce to the whole world. Whatever for? I do not know. Just so someone might actually hear. I do try. And what do I manage to get out? A whisper? I wish. Nothing. Not even air. And the best part? No one’s listening. Don’t tell anyone that. It’s a secret. Of course, when no one’s listening, there doesn’t arise the question of its being leaked to someone. Anyone. I wish I didn’t have to be so aware of this fact. I wish I could live out the lie that encompasses and engulfs the lives of so many around me, whoever they are. I wish I could live a lie and pretend I’m happy. I wish I could live in oblivion. Yes, I would be untrue to myself. Yes, it would be a fallacy. Yes, I would be denigrating myself to being a hypocrite. Yes, I would hate myself fully and properly then. Yes, I would be living in a superficial and hypothetical state of being, the state of the so called happiness. Why all this hype over that state of being? Asian paints royale play ad featuring Saif Ali Khan. The new one with all the retro music playing behind him as he splashes and plays around myriad strokes. What do I say? Bad advertising job. Too long. Who’ll sit and watch so long an ad? They didn’t have to start from his getting up. I feel aloof. And I am so aware of it. I wish it didn’t have to come to this kind of a face-off self admission. I didn’t need this mirror moment now. Man, I hate growing up. Life’s best when you live it out in naïve oblivion. Ah that sense of ignorant happiness. That childhood. Those imaginary troubles. Hmm. A nose ring? I wonder.